Finding a mate is relatively easy.
Finding one you really like, or “love” as we like to call it, is not so easy for most.
Maintaining that “love” is even more difficult.
Here’s how to find a good one
Step 1: Ask yourself these questions:
- What do I really want in a mate?
- What would that type of person look for in their ideal mate?
- Who do I need to be to attract the type of person I really want?
Step 2: Focus on becoming the type of person your ideal mate can not resist.
The Philosophy
We focus too much on generalities without taking care of the day-to-day things that make up a healthy and fulfilling life.
We aren’t truthful with ourselves. We’re out of touch with reality in a way that is self detrimental.
Our conception of love is formed by unrealistic representations of relationships in movies, songs, and on social media
Our ingestion of media causes us to misinterpret other people’s relationships because we see the highlights of their “love” and not the struggles they are enduring together on a regular basis. Examples:
- The all-too-perfect engagement photos
- The professionally photographed holiday card
- The Facebook update about their gender reveal
We are barraged with these on a daily basis.
Imagine only watching the highlight real of a basketball player and expecting that’s how they perform on every single play of the game. Then setting the expectation for yourself that this is how you should play.
Anonymous
We ingest the highlight reals of other couples, then project that on to our own lives, setting the bar way too high.
How can everything be so perfect all the time?
The Hard Truth
Humans are animals.
We have a brain designed for hunter gatherer and small tribe live, but we live in a modern world with smart phones and Instagram updates.
To find and maintain love, we need to bring ourselves back to reality.
We do that by asking and answering the tough questions.
- What do I really want?
- What will life really be like with my “ideal” mate?
- What work do I need to do to become the person that can maintain a health relationship with my ideal mate?